


Happiest Season

by SadLesbianClown



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternative End, Christmas, Happiest Season AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27830362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadLesbianClown/pseuds/SadLesbianClown
Summary: Roommates?Orphan?? Gay????I had to.You can read this without having seen Happiest Season, but if you want to watch the movie do it before reading this because spoilers.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this house we do what is convenient to the plot, not what’s cannon. It’s fun, you’ll like it, it doesn’t need to make sense… much like the actual movie lol.

**Baz**

What the hell was I thinking, inviting him home for the holidays?

I was so caught up in the moment, and the thought of him alone…. I sigh, putting the last of clothes into a bag. 

It’s too late to go back on my offer now. He’s excited. Father and Daphne have been notified. 

This is happening. 

Alester Crowley, I am so fucked. 

**Simon**

I know he’s worried about bringing me home with him, I get it. I’m a bit rough around the edges; I know. I don’t fit into his high-class world. I wear trackies when laying about, and the most casual attire Baz owns is a button down and a fit pair of jeans that probably cost more than one of my day’s wages. I just hope they see how much I love him; that I make their son happy. I was good with my first girlfriend's parents; they adored me. I think it’s the freckles. They make me seem soft and trustworthy. Who wouldn’t love seeing their child bring home a soft, freckle cheeked boy?

He was so tense packing. He must have emptied his bags onto our bed 3 times before he finally settled on a configuration. I just kissed between his shoulder blades, “it’s fine love, we’re only gone five days.”

“I know,” he said, “I just want everything to be perfect.”

“As long as I’m with you, everything is,” I say with a smile. That seemed to calm him for a bit. But now we’re in the car and his knuckles are turning white. Or well, _white-er._

I touch his thigh gently and watch him decompress. 

“So,” he says, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Okay,” I say with trepidation. 

“Remember last summer, when I came out to my family and told them about us and they were super supportive?”

“I do, yes.”

“Well, that’s not exactly what happened,” he says, turning to me with a worried look, “Father announced he was running chairman of the New Coven and Daphne was stressed about the twins starting school with Xavier’s biting and just, it couldn’t happen then. Now, with Mordelia coming home and Fi is going to be there it’s just not the right time, but I promise I will tell them soon.”

“Wait, so why do they think I’m coming?”

“I told them your parents were dead and you were going to be alone on Christmas.”

“And what? I just moved in with you after Watford because we’re such great pals?”

“Kind of yeah. I just said I needed a roommate and so did you and we knew we could live together because we’d done it all through school.”

“But it’s a one bedroom apartment?”

“Well they don’t know that.”

“This is a bad idea.” 

“Agreed, but when has that ever stopped us?”

I look at him with skepticism. 

Maybe he’s right. We’ve gotten away with stupider plots. This is nowhere near as precarious a situation as going up against an entire horde of orcs with no backup. 

This could work. We can do this. 

**Baz**

“Basil, so good to see you,” Daphne says, greeting us at the door. “And you must be Simon, I’ve heard so much about you. Here, come on in,” she waves us into the foyer. 

“You have a lovely home Mrs. Grimm, thank you so much for having me,” Simon says. 

“Of course!” She responds, “Basilton’s father and I are always happy to help those who are less fortunate,” she says with a smile. She means well, but Crowley if it’s not straining at my shriveled heart. 

“Basil?” Fiona calls from the hallway, “is that you?” She comes bounding around the corner, hands sticky with batter which clings to my coat when she hugs me with alarming speed and heaviness. 

“You!” She says turning to poor Simon, who looks shell shocked still standing by the door. “You must be the mystery man Basil dragged in off the street. I’m not sure you’ll find yourself more comfortable here with us lot, but do try to keep up.” She says, flipping a rag over her shoulder. “Oh nephew dear,” she calls after me, “I require your assistance in the kitchen. I melted the cookies again.”

“Again? Fi, I told you, stop using that spell on the oven!” I yell back, “I’ll just be a moment,” I tell Simon before disappearing after her. 

**Simon**

“Here, let me show you to your room,” Daphne says once Baz is gone. 

“I’m not staying with Baz?” I ask. 

“Oh nonsense,” she responds, “I wouldn’t expect you boys to share a bed, we have plenty of space. You’ll stay in the Hemlock Room. It had been Mr. Grimm’s office, but with all the work he is doing now with the Council, he needed the extra space. He’s moved to what used to be _my dining room_. Here we are,” she says opening a door at the end of a very long, dark hallway. “Towels are in the closet two doors down, bathroom is just across the hall, and Simon dear?”

“Yes?”

“If the phantoms talk to you, don’t answer. Dinner is in an hour, I’ll leave you to get settled.”

I turn to thank her, but she’s already gone. 

“Phantoms?” I think out loud. 

But then the wind rattled the window and I thought better of it. No more speaking. Not until I can ask Baz about whatever is haunting his guestroom. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Baz**

“I’m so sorry about that, really. I had no idea she was going to be here,” I try to explain in the bathroom of the restaurant where we are out to dinner. 

“It’s fine, I believe you,” he says, “I didn’t know you dated anyone before.”

I shrug, “barely, it was just a family obligation. Agatha’s parents are on the council with father.”

He still looks unsure. “I’m sorry,” I say, cupping his cheeks with my hands, “it won’t happen again. I’ll threaten Fiona with a gingerbread monster if I have to.” There’s that smile I love, I kiss it.

“What’s a gingerbread monster?” Simon asks as we leave the bathroom. 

“Oh, I just animate one of the kid’s gingerbread cookies.” He looks at me confused. “They’re kids, their piping skills are terrifying.”

“You’re not talking about gingerbread, are you?” Fiona asks as we rejoin the table. “Two years ago, Basil hexed one to crawl up my leg while I was napping on the couch. The crumbs. They went everywhere. I had to incinerate my bra,” she explains to Simon. 

“Fiona,” Father warns, but my aunt simply shrugs and returns to her meal. With that he turns his attention over to Agatha, who “coincidentally” arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes after us and whom Fi had invited to sit next to _me_. “That reminds me, Agatha, do you recall the Christmas our families stayed at that chalet in Zermatt?”

“Oh I’m sure she remembers the chalet, but I don’t know about Zermatt,” Daphne adds.

“She and Baz spent the whole trip in the house hiding from the cold,” Mordelia explains to Simon with a slight elbow nudge.

“I do remember Zermatt,” Agatha says, finally getting a word in, “and that’s not true Mordelia, Basil and I just preferred the boutiques to the mountain.”

Simon gives me a knowing smile, but really, I’m already a vampire, this body can’t afford to get any colder. I’ll take a glass of champagne in a hot tub over throwing myself off the side of a mountain any day. 

Thankfully, the rest of dinner goes by without too much more embarrassment. 

“Well wasn’t that nice,” Daphne says on the car ride home, “she’s single again, you know? Studying at med school. I envy her parents, it must be so helpful having a doctor in the family.”

I make only a vaguely agreeing sound. 

“What about you Simon?” Fiona asks, “you’ve been so quiet. What do you do?”

“Oh, um” Simon responds, “I’m at university. I’m working on my master’s in social work.”

“Social work, eh?” Father says, with some judgement. “Has that always been a passion of yours?”

“Mostly, yes. I think growing up in the system really gave me an appreciation for it. I never had much luck with my case workers, but I’d love to do better with other kids. Be the person I wish I had had in my life when I was their age.” 

“Of course dear, that’s lovely,” Daphne says.

I think Simon has finished being questioned but then Mordelia speaks from the very backseat, “do you have a girlfriend, Simon?” 

Merlin save me. 

“Oh,” he says turning to me, “no. I don’t. I have. Obviously. Loads.” I give him a questioning look. “No, not loads. Um. A few. A normal amount. I actually have just broken up with someone. A woman. My girlfriend. Or well,” he realizes he’s rambling, “not anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Mordelia says, “being an orphan _and_ heartbroken on Christmas must suck, I understand why Baz brought you home.”

“Mordelia!” Daphne yells from the front, “don’t be rude.”

“What?” my sister responds, innocently, “I said I was sorry for him, is all.”

Father shoots her a look in the rearview mirror which quiets her. 

**Simon**

“How’s it going? Have you asked her yet?” Penny says on the phone. I called her when we got back from the restaurant. 

“No,” I say. “There’s been a slight complication.”

“How is this complicated? You’re asking your boyfriend’s aunt for your blessing to marry her nephew. You know if she says no, you’re still going to wind up marrying him anyway. It’s just a courtesy.” 

“No, it’s not that.” I say, sighing against the headboard. “Baz isn’t out to his family. They don’t know we’re together.”

“WHAT!”

“Ow! Penny! Volume!”

“Sorry. What? Who do they think you are?”

I let out a soft, melancholy laugh, “he told them I’m his orphan roommate.”

“But you live in a studio flat.”

“Yes, but they don’t know that.”

“Still though, how do they not know about Baz?”

“I don’t know. The vampire thing was already such a big blow, I think he’s just afraid about what will happen if he piles it on.” 

“Yeah. I get that. How are you doing with it all?”

“Oh, you know, fine. I’m such a great liar.”

We laugh, “but, um, yeah it’s okay. I could have done without Baz’s ex girlfriend showing up at dinner.”

“What? He had a girlfriend?”

“Apparently. The daughter of a family friend. Malcolm and Daphne seemed a little too happy to point out she was single.”

“Oof.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, hang in there. I’m here if you need me.”

“Thanks Pen, I think I’m alright. Baz seems to be having a good time.”

“Good,” she says, “good night Si.”

“Night.”

This is going to be a long week. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Simon**

When Baz said his father was going to be busy all week schmoozing politicians, I didn’t realize it also involved my boyfriend. The minute we arrived at this party he was whisked away to be introduced to someone or another. 

“Don’t worry,” Fiona had said, clasping my shoulder when Baz was asked to follow his parents, “we’ll take good care of him.” That seemed to be all the reassurance Baz needed before he disappeared, giving me a sympathetic look. 

It turns out Fiona’s idea of “taking care” of me was showing me to the bar before she, herself, vanished into the crowd. 

I paced my way through the ballroom, making a few stops at the buffet to help myself to buttered rolls and insulting small scones; they didn’t even put out jam! I was looking for a server to ask if they had any back in the kitchen, but then Mordelia cornered me. “Having fun?” she asks. 

“Yep,” I say, “just finding something to keep down this drink your aunt ordered me. I’m pretty sure this is just vodka.”

“Yeah, with a splash of grenadine… for the festive color,” she explains. “It’s her signature holiday drink. She started doing it when Mom accused her of looking too severe at these parties, dressed in all black, scowling at Father’s politics.”

“Hm,” I nodded. 

She looks me over. “Glad you’re having a good time,” she says, “see if I were at a party and the only person I knew there ditched me at the door, I’d be going mad.”

I don’t really know how to respond to that, I just nod. 

“When did you become roommates with my brother? Or roommates again, I should say.”

“Oh, I moved in a few months ago.”

“You moved to his?” She asks, surprised. 

“Yeah,” I respond cautiously.

“Isn’t it a one bedroom?” she asks, with a raised eyebrow I recognize immediately. Her mannerisms are Baz to a T. 

“Um. Yes! It is! But um, there is a pantry. We converted it to a bedroom. That’s where I sleep. So yes. Two bed, um spaces. It is actually quite spacious. It works out alright.”

“Right,” she says, clearly unsatisfied. “I’m going to go now,” she says, turning away without another word. What is it with this family and running off?

I find peace outside on the balcony, where it’s cold but at least I can call Penny. 

“Hey Si, what up?”

“Oh nothing much. Just keeping away from people before I step on my foot again.”

“Uh-oh what happened?”

“Baz’s little sister cornered me and knew that it’s a studio apartment. I said I slept in the pantry. I literally talked myself into the closet.”

“Oh Si…”

“I know! I know, I panicked.”

“How’s Baz doing anyway?”

“Oh. Um. Good I think, I don’t really know. Honestly I haven’t seen him that much.” 

“What he’s not there with you?”

“Nope, he keeps needing to play golden boy for his father’s colleagues.”

“Hmm.”

“What about you, Pen? What have you been up to?”

“Oh, you know just buying a closet for you to move into if this trip doesn’t work out.”

“Uh--huh, very funny.”

“No, actually. I’m buying an armoire for myself for Christmas. My robes keep getting wrinkled and I can’t exactly take them to a Normal dry cleaner.”

I realize I’m not alone. 

“Hey Pen, I should go. Talk to you later, okay?”

“Yeah alright, bye Si.”

Two men turn the corner to come into view.

“Sorry mate, didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you. We were out here before you came out, you see.” The dark haired bloke says. 

“No worries,” I say, “do I know you?” I ask, “you look familiar.”

“Yes and no. I’m Dev, Baz’s cousin.”

“Oh right, Dev. Nice to finally meet you,” I say, extending a hand.

“Likewise,” he says as he shakes my hand. “This is Niall by the way,” he says pointing to the curly haired man beside him. He shakes my hand too, if a bit timidly.

“For what it’s worth, I understand what you’re going through.” Dev says. Looking inside toward Baz to clarify. 

“Going through?” I ask. 

“Oh-um. Nevermind that, then.” He says turning, “I like your coat,” he adds before he too vanishes, leaving me confused, alone on the balcony. 

  
  
  


**Baz**

“I’m so grateful-” ….that is all I hear of Father’s speech. All I can focus on is Simon. He’s at least trying to look like he is paying attention, but he keeps glancing over at me. I can’t help myself, I let my hand brush against his; my small finger intertwining with his momentarily, “I’m still here,” it says. It’s all I can afford to risk right now, but when he looks to the floor and smiles I know it’s enough; he understands.

Then I see him looking at us from a few feet away; Dev. I pull back and return my attention to Father.

There are too many witnesses here. Too many eyes that know what to look for. I don’t think Dev is the only one. I feel….watched. 

“Remember why you are doing this,” I tell myself. 

I sneak one last look at my lovely, bronze haired boyfriend and feel calm return to my body. “You are doing this for him,” I think again. “You’re giving him the Christmas he deserves; the familial love he deserves.” 

I ease. 

We can do this, together. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Baz**

I sneak down to his room tonight. He tried making his way to mine first, but he got lost and wound up walking into the twins’ room instead. Of course he woke them, which forced Daphne out of her room to settle them. He said he was sleepwalking, which she seemed to believe, or at least she was too tired not too.

While she was distracted with the children, I snuck past her. Now finally, finally, I get to touch him. These have been the longest two days of my life, not being able to kiss him. 

It is a short lived bliss, however, as first thing in the morning we are awoken by a knock at the door. I scramble to find my pants in the blankets and hide behind the door as Simon covers himself in a robe and greets the visitor; who turns out to be Daphne checking to make sure Simon was alright after his late night stroll.

She’s not the only one at the door though. Father walks in, grumbling about needing a file out of his old desk which is still here from when it was his office. 

I press myself further against the wall and Simon is trying his best to block me with his back but I’m taller than he is so there is only so much he can do. Then I see them. The twins. Peeking through the crack in the door. Simon must notice them too because he puts a finger to his lips. 

And like that, just as quickly as they came, my family dispersed to go down for breakfast. 

My heart was beating so fast I could actually feel it. I let my head fall back against the, now closed, door. “Too close,” I say, “that was too close.” Simon nods and sinks back against the door next to me. “Yu _p_ ,” he agrees, “I almost dropped dead at the sight of your father.”

“You wouldn’t be the first,” I kid, poking at his ribs. “I should go,” I add, “they’ll be expecting me at breakfast.”

He nods and we kiss once more before I slip out into the hall. 

**Simon**

“So,” I say as we settle at the table for breakfast, “what are we doing today?” 

“Oh,” Baz says, sinking a bit, “actually Father asked me to help him with some campaign work while I’m here.”

I don't have time to be disappointed however, when Daphne shouts from the kitchen, “Oh! Mordelia wanted me to take her to the mall for some last minute shopping but I don’t have the time with all this party prep and the twins, Simon can you take her? You can borrow the car.”

“Sure, yeah. I can take her Mrs. Grimm.” She sure knows how to jump on an opportunity quickly.

“Great! Thanks dear. Plus you can get a white elephant gift while you are out.”

“A what?”

“White elephant,” Daphne repeats with added seriousness, “it’s a gift swap, we do it every year. Didn’t Basil tell you?”

“Oh, no, he didn’t.”

“Sorry,” Baz mouths. 

“It’s fine. Like you said, I can just get one at the mall.”

“Perfect,” Daphne says, smile returning, “Mordelia can help you, won’t you love?” 

Mordelia grimaces. 

“She knows what is expected. It’s the most important part of the evening, it has to be-”

“Perfect,” Daphne, Mordelia and Baz all say at the same time. 

Daphne huffs at their mockery. 

“Right,” I say to break the silence, “we’ll go after breakfast, if that’s alright?” I turn to Mordelia who rolls her eyes and leaves the dining room. 

“That is Mord for ‘yes,” Baz translates. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Baz**

“Baz, I swear I didn’t do anything,” Simon pleads. 

“I know Si, I believe you. It’s just,” I shuffle my feet, “since the war ended and the merger,” I hate that I have to do this, “it’s been so hard for Father to gain any kind of momentum in the New Coven, coming from one of the Old Families. He has to be perfect.  _ We _ have to be perfect. Appearances are everything, they just have to be careful.”

“So what? I get detained by mall security for stealing something  _ I didn’t steal _ and now they want me gone?”

“No, you don’t have to go. I wouldn’t let them. Just,” I sigh, “Father’s campaign manager is bringing a potential donor over for a meeting this afternoon, why don’t you go for a walk? Get to see the town a bit? It’s lovely this time of year. Just give him some time to cool down, he’ll come around.”

“Fine,” he grunts.

“Si-”

“I know, I know.” he looks back at me from the doorway of my room. “It’s alright,” he says, “I know it’s not you. I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?”

“Hey,” I say walking up to him and holding his arms “I’m so sorry. I know we haven’t seen each other much this trip. Can I make it up to you? Why don’t we go out tonight? Get a drink?”

“Yeah, okay,” he says with a slight smile, “that sounds alright. You’re buying.”

I laugh and kiss him, “of course. I love you Simon.”

“I love you too,” he says as we break apart before slipping out the door to walk into town. 

**Simon**

I putter around town for a while, walking up and down the main street, but truth be told there isn’t much to see. I find a diner and get some dinner, but after that? I was at a loss. I gave Penny a call but I still had a couple hours to kill before Malcolm’s meeting ended. Then I see Dev walking up the street toward me with a friendly smile, “funny running into you again,” he says. 

“Yeah.”

He looks me over again, like he did that night at the party, “what are you up to?”

“Oh, just looking for a place to get a drink.”

He nods. “I think I know a place,” he adds, with a Grimm smile I don’t know if I should trust. 

We walk up a back street and nestled between a candle store and an open storefront, is a gay bar. 

It’s a long, narrow room, the likes of which the bar takes up half. We get our drinks and find a booth and sit back to enjoy the holiday drag show taking place on the stage behind me. 

“What did you mean?” I ask once we’re comfortable and a few drinks in. 

Dev takes another sip of his beer, “what did I mean, when?”

“That night at the party,” I elaborate, “you said you understood, about Baz.”

“Oh,” he swallows hard, “it was just an assumption, I shouldn’t have-”

“I think you might have been right in your assumption,” I tell him.

He sinks back in his seat with his drink in hand, “what has Baz told you?”

“Just that you are cousins. I remember you. From Watford, secondary school. We didn’t share any of the same classes, but I’d see you at lunch. You and Baz were inseparable. Then you disappeared. Some of the other students said you were transferring to a Normal school.”

He nods, biting at his lip, “there was a little more to it than that.”

He takes another sip and leans forward, “so um, Baz and I were best friends growing up, we did everything together. We both realized we fancied blokes, but we could only talk about it with each other. No one else would have understood. That is, until we met Niall. The three of us became thick as thieves.”

He pauses. 

“Niall and I became a bit closer. We started dating. When um. When the three of us were about 16, we snuck out to pride. The housekeeper found the photos in Baz’s things. She told Malcolm. When he asked about it, Baz told him,” he pauses to let out a pained laugh, “Baz said that Niall and I tricked him into going. That we were together and Baz didn’t want anything to do with us. Grimm told our parents. I was pulled out of school. Niall was alright. His parents were never political like our family. I ended up staying with them a lot. Things at home weren’t good for a while after…”

He collects himself, “we’re okay now. I went on to university. That seemed to make them happy. We all go to the christmas party every year. Which you know, is  _ fun _ .” He laughs to himself and a few drinks and sing-a-longs later, I get the text from Baz letting me know the meeting is over and I can meet him at the other bar. 

This one is different than the one Dev took me too. It’s loud and full of obnoxious people doing red and green jello shots. I’m hardly in the door before Agatha is thrusting one of said shots into my hand, “Simon! You can’t be here sober!” she yells over the music. Baz smiles and clinks my glass with his own, he starts to ask me if I ate dinner but then she grabs him by the scarf and pulls him to the dance floor. There has been so much of this. Of him leaving me standing by the door. In all the time I have known him, I have never seen him be able to ignore me in a room full of people so easily. Even when we hated each other, he couldn’t ignore me. 

I know he doesn’t still have feelings for her, if he ever had them at all, but she’s obviously interested in him and his family definitely hasn’t given up on getting them back together. This is what they want. Their son and his doctor wife. The Baz I have known and loved was never interested in that life though, so why isn’t he putting her off?

When I can catch him for a minute I excuse myself. I tell him I’m going home. He looks disappointed, but not enough to go with me. 

In the morning, when he is pissy and hungover, I don’t wait to see what wholesome family activity is planned; I text Dev. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed the complete absence of the Mage in this, because it is Christmas, it is 2020 and we don't need that shit right now, damn it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Baz**

He’s been acting so strange since we got here. On edge. I thought a night out together would help things, but then he left before any of the fun could start. Daphne sent me to chaperone Fiona at the liquor store this afternoon and as we were checking out I saw Simon with Dev walking down the street together. Snow hadn’t mentioned getting acquainted with my cousin, since when are they  _ friends _ ?

At least he found a gift for white elephant, otherwise Mother would have gone mental. No matter how early she starts planning, come the day of the party she is always running around in a frenzy. 

He’s wearing the sweater I got him for his birthday last year.I catch a glimpse of him by the stairs, I want to tell him how good he looks. That I wish things hadn’t been so weird today, all week, really. But then Fiona beacons me into the other room.

I don’t get to see him again before the guests start pouring in. I was talking to Agatha by the fireplace when I saw Simon sit down next to Dev. There’s something about seeing the two of them together that makes me nervous. I want to go over there, but then the twins call me over. We’ve been practicing silent night; they sing while I accompany them on violin. 

Halfway through the performance I see Dev slip out to the kitchen and return to replace their spiced punch with clear liquor. Simon is talking, but I can’t quite make out what he is saying. That’s the problem with vampire hearing in a room full of people, I can hear  _ everything _ ; all at once. It is difficult to separate out one conversation amongst a dozen. Whatever he says though is obviously interesting, because Dev reaches out and rubs his arm. 

“SIMON!” a voice yells from the foyer that I could recognize anywhere, Bunce. 

**Simon**

“Penny! What are you doing here?” 

“I came to rescue you,” she says peering around, “now let’s go before one of these Old’s recognize a Bunce in their house.” 

“Penny the war ended five years ago and I doubt anyone here has failed to take notice of your presence, not with  _ that _ entrance.”

“Ms. Bunce!” Mrs. Grimms says, “how good to see you! What brings you here?”

“We’re dating!” I blat out. 

“That is  _ not  _ accurate,” Penny responds, dryly. Keep up Pen!

“Right. No. Not entirely. We  _ did _ break up. But,” I turn to her with wide eyes “help me” they read. “to answer your question, the one you asked right before Mrs. Grimm walked over here. Yes. I will take you back.”

“Oh,” there she gets it, “yes, right. Good. Glad that’s um, settled.” Penny says. 

“Oh.” Daphne says, obviously confused by whatever it is that just happened. “Good. Well. It would have been nice to know you were coming,” she gives me a stare. “But now that you are here, enjoy the party!” her hostess persona returning.

“Thank you, Mrs. Grimm. Sorry to intrude,” Penny apologizes. 

“Not at all, you are more than welcome. Now if you will excuse me, I have to start the gift exchange,” she says as she rushes off into the parlor. 

“Alabaster Crowley and Merlin, Simon. Let’s go!” Penny whines. 

“Pen, look you didn’t-” Fiona interrupts me and grabs my arm. “What are you doing  _ in here _ ? Come on, it’s starting.”

**Baz**

Penny finds Agatha immediately and ensnares her into some kind of debate they apparently had left unfinished the last time they saw each other. 

Simon is in the grip of my aunt by the door, and Mordelia is, graciously, picking up every present under the tree and shaking it. 

“Mordelia, honey. Just pick one,” Mother warns. 

“But none of them are what I want,” Mordelia complains.

“Well, how do you know if you don’t open one?”

Mordelia points under the tree, “wooden duck, throw blanket, donut factory, co-” 

“Well what is it you  _ do _ want then?” Father asks with annoyance. 

“A boyfriend,” Mordelia states, matter of factly. We all let out a small laugh, but then she continues, “I want a boyfriend, like Basil and none of these boxes are big enough to have one.”

“What?” Daphne asks.

“I want a boyfriend like Basil. I want a special friend who can live in the panty and play hide and seek with me whenever I want. Like Xavier and Petunia said.”

“What did the twins say, Mordelia?” Father asks hesitantly.

“They said Simon and Baz were playing hide and seek together in your old office. They saw Baz hiding behind the door when Mummy went to check on Simon.”

“Basil?” Fiona asks, still gripping Simon’s arm. 

“What?” I stutter, “no. No. Mord that’s not-”

Everyone is staring at me. Everyone but Father. He’s still staring at where Mordelia was shaking the parcels. 

“I am not _ gay _ . Simon is just a friend. Not even, we’re just roommates. Mordelia was right the first time, I just felt sorry for him being an orphan, that’s why he’s here.”

**Simon**

Now I can leave. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just leaving you all with a little cliff hanger before I go on hiatus (though we'll see how long that actually lasts lol). I look forward to hearing your "noooooo"s


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually, you know what? No. I can't leave you guys on that depressing note.

**Simon**

“Si!” Penny yells at me from the driveway. “Here. Your coat,” she says passing it to me. 

She breathes deeply and I can see it freezing in the air, “do you want to go for a walk?” she asks. 

I nod. 

“I don’t know who that was,” I say. “That-” I huff. “This whole trip has been a disaster,” I tell her. “My parents are dead, Penny. I’ve never had anyone to disappoint with my life. I know he’s scared, but-”

She rubs my shoulder. “Why say  _ that? _ Why ignore me when we are out at a bar with his friends? Why-”

“Because this is everything he could lose.”

“...not everything.” 

**Baz**

I see him walking back up the driveway as I load up the car. 

“Baz? What are you doing?”

“We’re leaving.”

“Baz I don’-”

“Simon. You are my family. You are my best friend and watching you walk out that door was the scariest moment of my life. I just- I want to go home. I want to go to  _ our  _ home and wake up with you on Christmas morning.”

He doesn’t say a word. He just stares at his feet. 

“Please,” I plead, softly holding him at the sides, “please.”

“You told them?” he whispers.

I nod. 

“We can have Christmas,” he says. It’s not a yes, but he gets in the car. 

The drive back to London is long and tense. We don’t speak. Simon just slumps down against the door, face pressed against the cold glass. 

When I park the car, I realize he must have fallen asleep. I tap his shoulder, “Simon,” I whisper, “we’re here.”

He grumbles, but let’s himself out and up to the door. I let us in, carrying whatever bags I could grab. 

He falls into bed and immediately returns to sleep. 

I’m not ready to go to bed yet. I just came out to my family. They may never speak to me again. I have no idea how Simon will be when he wakes up. My life is about to change; I don’t know how, but I know I won’t have a clue until the sunrises. I shower. I put on pajamas. I brush my teeth. I look at the bed and then I look at the pile of bags in the corner. I can stall a little longer, I think. So I set to unpacking, as quietly as I can manage. Not that it matters. Simon is a heavy sleeper, he couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant. 

Then I see it. The shape of a poorly hidden jeweler’s box in a pair of socks. 

I shouldn’t, but I do. I open it to find a thin gold band. The inside is inscribed,  _ “This will end in flames.” _

Fitting. An infinite band, forged in fire. 

Suddenly this week makes sense.  _ He _ makes sense. He went to Hampshire to ask me something, and everytime he tried talking to me I vanished. 

I carefully return the box to the sock and repack his bag before settling into bed. I watch the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. I try to match it. I let myself fill with the familiar scent of our bed. It’s the perfect blend of us. It took me forgetting it to be able to sense it again. I let myself sleep. 

**Simon**

I wake before he does. Which is unheard of. He always wakes up before me. But I suppose yesterday wasn’t always. 

I go downstairs to the kitchen to start a kettle for tea when I hear a rasp down the hall. 

I waddle to the front door in my robe, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and when I open it I am stunned to find the entire Grimm-Pitch family standing on my steps with a slight overflow to the curb. The overflow being Malcolm, still leaning against the car door with his arms crossed.

I tighten my robe. 

“Daphne- um Mrs. Grimm. What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean dear? It’s Christmas.”

“But Baz-”

“Ah yes, where is Basil? He needs his Father Christmas hat. He forgot it when he ran out last night. Basil!” She yells into the house. 

“Um, he’s actually still asleep, but um- here come in. I just put on a kettle.” I say stepping to the side. 

“Wonderful! We can surprise him!” Daphne says as she steps through the threshold, the rest pouring in behind her.

“I take mine with brandy,” Fiona says as she walks past me. 

Malcolm is the last to follow, he doesn’t say anything, just gives me a tight lipped nod. 

I click off the kettle on my way back in. “Um, Mrs. Grimm, how do you take your tea?”

“Mother. Please.” She corrects. “Cream, 1 sugar.”

“I wouldn’t mind a cup too,” Malcolm says as I hand Daphne her tea. 

“Right. Of course. How do you-”

“Just black,” he answers.

**Baz**

I was awoken by a racket in the kitchen. I came down in my pants expecting to find Simon making pancakes; he likes doing that on weekends. Instead he is handing my father a cuppa. 

“What the hell are you doing?” I ask from the stair. I’m not really sure who I’m asking, but Mordelia answers. “Waiting for you. Can you please put on some trousers so we can open presents?” she says. 

“I-” I look to my parents, to Fiona, to Simon, looking for an answer but they don’t say anything. Was Mordelia’s explanation clear enough for them, because I am still quite confused. However, my sister was right about one thing. I do need to put on some trousers. 

I snap my mouth shut, turn and run up the stairs. 

When I return I find the youngins dissecting their stockings, “sorry,” Daphne apologies, “they were too quick.”

“We’re gremlins,” Mordelia quips over her shoulder with a wide, devilish smile. 

“Just right,” Fiona says sipping her tea. 

“I still don’t understand.” I say. “What are you all doing here?”

“Christmas is a family holiday Basilton,” Father answers, not looking up from his drink. 

“That’s right,” Daphne adds, “you are a part of this family. We wouldn’t think of doing it without you.” She says with a kind smile. “Or you Simon. You’re part of this family too. Whether you like it or not.” Simon is beaming from the kitchen. I could cry. 

The tender moment is interrupted when Bunce comes barreling through the door, “SIMON SOMEONE IS BLOCKING YOUR DRI- oh. Hello Baz’s family. Nice to see you again…. So quickly.” She shoots a look over at Simon, who true to form doesn’t offer any kind of explanation, just shrugs and smiles. 

“Perfect!” Daphne says, “Ms. Bunce, would you please take a photo for us? Here, let’s get one before the children run off to play with their toys!” 

“Um, sure. Yes, of course.” Penny mumbles as she takes Mother’s camera phone. “Everyone say, ‘Christmas!” She yells. 

“No!” Mother corrects, “just smile.”

  
  



	8. Epilogue

**Simon**

“Why me?” I shuffle my feet. I’ve sweat through my shirt again, I had to change it once already before I even left the house. “Why not Malcolm? Or even Daphne?”

“Because you’re the one that matters,’” I explain. “He loves Malcolm and Daphne, and I know they’ve found their way now, but you’re the one who was there for him. When he needed an adult in his life, you were the one who showed up.”

“Okay,” she says, wiping a tear from her eye, “okay, you can marry my nephew.” 

I feel myself resume breathing; I hadn’t realized I’d stopped. 

“And Chosen One,” Fiona continues, “if you tell anyone, and I mean  _ anyone  _ you made me cry you will find yourself in a  _ very _ uncomfortable situation. Do you understand me?”

I nod quickly. 

She smiles at my terror, satisfied with her threat. 

The rest is easy. I just have to bend a knee.

  
“Oh and, Simon?” I look back at her, “you look _ great _ in that coat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :) thanks for reading


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